tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-220713252024-03-07T14:03:22.646-08:00the Saddam Dump[The Saddam Dump, Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog]MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1167686737859425062007-01-01T13:13:00.000-08:002009-01-05T04:46:57.134-08:00WHAT HAPPENS IN PALESTINE STAYS IN PALESTINEHello, it is me again. I know it is hard to believe in, but if you are reading my <a href=” http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0977871851/ref=sr_11_1/104-3545996-4253564?%5Fencoding=UTF8”> book</a> you wouldn’t be too surprised because God has appeared to me and predicted all that is passing. You know what they say, “One man’s hanging is another man’s martyrdom.” But I am many times worrying that my resurrection, Jerry Bruckheimer-ish apocalypse, four horsemen on fire thingy I was planning on, is not going to be happening so soon. God’s days are like centuries or something...<br /><br /><i>– he tried explaining but my 72 virgins can be a little distracting. They’re constantly bickering!</i><br /><br />Anyway, I want to throw a thought at you… I am most times loving the Palestinian peoples but they do just go on and on about their problems, and after awhile I wish they’d just get over it already. Very similar to the whining of your American Indians, “We’re a conquered native people forced to live on reserved land, our economy is depressed, etc, etc.” So I say, make a theft from the American history books and come up with the perfect solution…<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/3267/2240/1600/369752/palestinian_casinos.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/3267/2240/320/636269/palestinian_casinos.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />I guarantee this will work. In a few years everyone will want to be Palestinian. Even the Jews will claim a 1/16th heritage. Problem solved. <br /><br />– You’re welcome. <a href=” http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0977871851/ref=sr_11_1/104-3545996-4253564?%5Fencoding=UTF8”>Now buy my book </a><br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</i></b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1153260374058389392006-07-18T15:00:00.000-07:002007-02-10T03:25:39.030-08:00WHO’D A THUNK IT?I have been hearing news of a World War Three (or Two And A Half depending on how you count it). I feel like Roger Clemens pitching in the minors. Oh sure I’m still in the game, ranting in court, going on my little hunger strikes but shit why didn’t I think of kidnapping an Israeli soldier when I had the chance???? <br /><br />I’ve been denying it but now I have to admit: I’ve become the comic relief of the Middle East.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/1600/Saddam_joke.0.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/320/Saddam_joke.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Remember Scud missiles? Even the name sounds funny now. The handshake with Rummsfeld while dropping mustard gas on the Iranians? – Classic. Being compared to Hitler? That bit was meant for me. Now everyone is Hitler! Bush, Ahmadinejad, Olmert, al-Assad, Simon Cowell, your brother in-law, Mariah Carey… Hitler. Everyone is Hitler.<br /><br />I can’t believe this. I think people are actually nostalgic for me now. The soundtrack to my life has now officially become the theme song from Benny Hill. Do you think this is funny? Do you?!#%$@*! Well then… <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=nationallampo-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0977871851%2Fref%3Dsr_11_1%3F%255Fencoding%3DUTF8"> Buy The Book HERE >></a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=nationallampo-20&l=ur2&o=1" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" /><br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</i></b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1152213609013964642006-07-06T12:17:00.000-07:002007-01-25T13:14:12.206-08:00OH CRAP!Today news of Ken Lay’s heart attack and unexpected death has reached me. I did not know this Mr. KennyBoy Lay person but he seemed to be a good man and like me he knew how to treat people and make money from oil and energy markets. Damn I miss manipulating the price of crude. I have been thinking that many times well known people who are connected by celebrity and a random fact seem to die in groups of three.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/1600/ken_lay.1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/1600/ken_lay1a.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />This is not good.<br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</i></b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1144207954006100652006-04-04T20:31:00.000-07:002007-01-17T21:18:38.600-08:00WHERE THE WMD AT<b>Daily Trial Entry:</b><br />I am getting tired of being asked: “Hey, Saddam Where are the WMDs?” What did Bush think he would find? -- a giant steaming vat of glowing green ooze waiting for him in a warehouse in Falluja. <br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/1600/minaret.0.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/320/minaret.0.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>No, it doesn’t work that way. You spread it around. A small vile of anthrax strong enough to take out a city… you put it everywhere. It’s in Akmed’s house and Fareed’s house, it’s in spray canisters and bike tires. I sent a batch Fed X to Cleveland. It’s like hiding the contents of a couple of pixie sticks from your little brother. Biological is so easy. I could never believe Bush actually thought he would find these. <br /><br />The missiles? Right in front of your nose: they hold up bridges, they are the large flagpoles, pillars in my palaces, and the minarets in our mosques. <br /><br />The chemical weapons are in thermoses at our 99cent stores, in urns of our dead soldiers, and in all Walmart vases. It’s really that easy. <br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</b></i><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><br /><table width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="5" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><tr><td>comments</td></tr></table><br />Hey, where’s my $20,000?! I blew myself up, and my family is still waiting to collect--Akmed Pala, Palestinian Suicide Bomber, 7th Level of Hell<br /><br /><b>Posted by: Notta_limb_onme77</b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1151376480914808792006-06-26T19:47:00.000-07:002006-06-26T22:02:42.173-07:00BUY OR DIEAmericans make great weapons. It’s a shame that the best thing they make their own people can’t buy. Wal-Mart should carry M-16s, grenade belts, and V-22 Osprey tilt-rotor hovercraft.<table width="100%" border="0"><tr><td align=center> <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/1600/buy_Saddam_dump.jpg"><img style="float:center; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/320/buy_Saddam_dump.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a></td><br /> </tr><br /></table>Oh and my new book The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein’s Trial Blog]. It is available in bookstores now! So go get one. It’s perfect for travel, beach, or poolside during the Forth of July weekend. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=nationallampo-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0977871851%2Fref%3Dsr_11_1%3F%255Fencoding%3DUTF8">Buy The Book HERE >></a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=nationallampo-20&l=ur2&o=1" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" /> <br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</i></b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1150917232465519012006-06-21T12:00:00.000-07:002006-06-22T07:34:33.050-07:00NEVER FORGETTo raise money for my defense fund I have worked out a deal with the Franklin Mint to produce a series of commemorative plates paying tribute to my lawyers who have been killed.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/1600/saddam_plate.1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/320/saddam_plate.1.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />This is the Khamis al-Obeidi plate. It is the third plate in the series. Get the starter set of three now and we will send you a new plate each month to examine and keep, or return it if you are not 100% satisfied. Get them now! Supplies are limited.<br /><br />My new book The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] will be in stores next Tuesday. It's a great summer time read so get yours to enjoy over the Fourth of July holiday, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=nationallampo-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0977871851%2Fref%3Dsr_11_1%3F%255Fencoding%3DUTF8" target="blank">or buy the book online NOW!</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=nationallampo-20&l=ur2&o=1" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" /><br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</i></b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1150260937519716322006-06-13T20:48:00.000-07:002006-06-14T06:02:06.956-07:00INVADING MYSPACEI am hoping for a Hollywood ending to my trials. If I have enough good characters who show support for me I might get off. I am thinking of a real <a href ="http://www.reelclassics.com/Movies/MrSmith/mrsmith2.htm" target="_blank">Mr. Smith Goes To Washington</a> moment. That is why I have joined myspace.<br /><br />The first day I was a bit disappointed because I had only one friend… Tom. It seems Tom comes to be a friend of everyone who is on myspace.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/1600/tom_saddam.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/320/tom_saddam.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />But then I looked at Tom’s page and I realized Tom has 85 million friends! With Tom I only need one friend. Because he has 85 million!!!!!<br /><br />Today I have 45 friends, tomorrow 45 thousand. By the end of the week it should be 45 million! Who can argue that I am not a good person if I have 45 million friends? <br /><br /><a href ="http://www.myspace.com/saddamdump" taget="_blank">Look at my page here.</a><br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</i></b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1149818314196140612006-06-08T18:47:00.001-07:002006-06-13T20:13:00.016-07:00DOES 4 EVER MEAN FOREVERI have a new jailhouse tat! I got the old one so long ago and I was tired of it, so I decided to do a cover-up.<br /> <br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/1600/tattoo.0.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/320/tattoo.0.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I am almost as excited about my new tattoo as I am about my new book: National Lampoon The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog], in stores June 27. You may <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=nationallampo-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F0977871851%2Fref%3Dsr_11_1%3F%255Fencoding%3DUTF8" target="blank">buy the book online NOW!</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=nationallampo-20&l=ur2&o=1" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" /><br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</i></b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1149370081840382422006-06-03T14:26:00.000-07:002006-06-09T12:51:38.533-07:00I HOPE TO KILL<a href="http://www.saddamdump.com/standup/" target="_blank"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/320/Standup_Saddam02.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" /></a>While I am busy on most days with my trial I do have time to work on other things. Today I have worked on my comedy act and I have much new material to share:<br /><br />What is the difference between Iraq and Vietnam? – Sand<br /><br />Perhaps one day I will be free to give performances at the Karbala Komedy Kitchen. <br /><br />Here is a <a href="http://www.saddamdump.com/standup/" target="_blank">video</a> of me… Leave a comment below to let me know how much I have killed.<br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</b></i><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1148067293531509862006-05-19T12:21:00.000-07:002006-05-23T13:44:03.763-07:00A GREAT IRONY<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eDJ3cuXKV4" target="_blank"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/200/pink-10.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>The green zone is a terrible place. You can’t get a good cell phone connection here... I have important calls to make. This morning I have an idea for a wonderful song and wish to contact an agent. Will directory assistance have a number for Pink? I am thinking she would like to sing it for me, but I cannot get enough bars to make the call.<br /><br />It is a great irony of my life that the only place my cell phone won’t work is in my cell.<br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</b></i><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1144208724749531122006-04-04T20:45:00.000-07:002006-05-19T12:48:24.456-07:00MORE ABOUT METhe "about me" section does not meet my fulfillment. Therefore it is required to have more, “more about me." – Saddam Hussein<br /><br /><B>Age:</B> 69<br /><B>Gender:</B> 100% male<br /><B>Astrological Sign:</B> Taurus <i>(Same birthday as Jay Leno – Ha Ha)</i><br /><B>Zodiac Year:</B> Ox<br /><B>Industry:</B> Socialist Pan-Arab Tyranny<br /><B>Occupation:</B> President of Iraq <i>(That’s right I’m the president of Iraq – FU MFer!!!)</i><br /><B>Location:</B> Undisclosed, Iraq <i>(C’mon, who are we kidding? I’m in the Green Zone)</i><br /><br />Saddam is like god. Saddam is the reincarnation of Nebuchadnezzar, ruler and rightful king of the Babylonian empire, defender of Palestine and conqueror of Mesopotamia. Saddam is disco.<br /><br /><i>– And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand</i><br /><br /><B>Likes:</B><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/1600/disco.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/1600/disco.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Cleanliness, nice suits, rape rooms, paintings on velvet, walks on the Euphrates, biological weaponry, afternoon prayers to Allah, dissenters with blood gushing from their lying treasonous throats, SUVs.<br /><br /><B>Dislikes:</B><br />Slovenliness, beggars, painted whores, Paris Hilton, parking tickets, counterfeit antiquities on eBay, 5000 pound laser guided “bunker busters," Jews.<br /><br /><B>Interests include:</B><br />• Provoking the greedy, halfwit, president of America <i>(Saddam cannot even write his name because Saddam is shaking with anger. Saddam wishes he would call. Saddam could make it better)</i><br />• Manipulating international economy<br />• Fucking with the French<br />• Drinking with Putin<br />• Taking bribes<br />• Giving bribes<br />• Polishing scud missile<br />• Disputing territorial boundaries<br />• Pumping oil<br />• Facial hair<br /><br /><B>Favorite Movies:</B><br />Dirty Harry <i>(what’s it going to be punk? Go ahead make my day. LOL the best comedy ever!!)</i><br /><br /><B>Favorite Music:</B><br />Albums = Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack, The Best of Gloria Gainer<br />Singles = Psyco Killer – <i>Talking Heads</i>, Kiddie Grinder – <i>Marilyn Manson</i>, Prison Song – <i>System Of A Down</i>, O Sole Mio – <i>Placido Domingo</i><br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</i></b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><br /><table width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="5" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><tr><td>comments</td></tr></table><br />Hey Pinhead, you know what? You are a joke! That’s what you are – a joke. And you’re a criminal for committing crimes against humanity. And you hate freedom and justice. After 35 years of running a country with no judiciary save for trials that were prejudged by you, Iraq is totally unprepared to conduct this trial. So I tell you what, why don’t you just do the same thing you did to those thousands of innocent people you slaughtered and sentence yourself to death right now and save us all the trouble. That would be a funny punch line… you joke!<br /><br />Listen when this thing blows over love to have you on the Factor. The ratings will be huge! Call me.<br /><br /><b>Posted by: NoSpin_Bill</b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><br />Please remove my site from your Friend’s Links: <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0158105/">http://www.JacquesChirac.com</a><br /><br />This is embarrassing.<br /><br /><b>Posted by: ChiracDaddy</b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1144207569065602292006-04-04T20:25:00.000-07:002006-05-17T20:02:44.186-07:00A BUG IN MY CELL<em>By Saddam Hussein</em><br /><br />Warmth of sunlight streaming <br />Through the window of my cell<br />Morning with no reason<br /><br />A bug appears<br />Finding comfort in my forearm hairs black and gray<br />How much we share in common this bug and me<br /><br />I too am in the wrong place<br />Oh bug. Please bug, be my friend<br />Oh bug you want to fly, such disappointment<br /><br />Ahh, it stays! <br />Stay with me my little friend and I will provide for you<br /><br />Oh bug you have left me! <br />In flight now – to the bars, to the air<br />I reach for you, such yearning<br /><br />Oh bug you are taunting me!<br />Deviant bug, come here this instant or you shall pay!<br /><br />I have you now, firmly in my grasp, ha, ha<br />I have tweezers, now your head is gone<br />I pluck a dingle berry from my arse<br />Now it is down the bloody stump that was your throat<br />You son of a Kurdish whore!<br /><br />No more will the bug disobey me<br />Meaning and hope have been restored<br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</i></b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><br /><table width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="5" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><tr><td>comments</td></tr></table><br />I was on Joe Scarborough's MSNBC show last night, part of a panel discussing whether President Bush should be impeached. You might have caught it; I don’t know what time it comes on over there. Anyway, as I always do in any political debate, I started out the evening arguing about Bush's imperial and illegal adventure in Iraq. This always results in blank stares and heavy sighs, which is my cue to look smug and claim to have won the argument. Works every time. Speaking of legal this might be good for your current “situation.”<br /><br />BTW It’s great to see you’ve started a blog – good for you! Maybe you’ll consider linking to my blog?? http://www.huffingtonpost.com Hit me back and let me know.<br /><br /><b>Posted by: PrincessArianna</b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><br />Dude@#$%@#!!$# -- I thought we had a deal?? – You suck<br /><br /><b>Posted by: U.N.Koffi</b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1144206884491406202006-04-04T20:14:00.000-07:002006-05-17T20:02:06.223-07:00CAN’T SLEEP<b>Note To Self:</b><br />Giant Pig Plushy… I can’t stop dreaming this image. Is it this pigpen they force me to sit in each day? Something is going on with me. I’ve been visiting Furry fetish sites. Is there anyone out there that can make this happen for me? I went on eBay today and they would not allow me to set up an account, my name is blocked. Please, I must wear the Pig Plushy. I have hidden gold & WMDs. Perhaps I can make a trade on craigslist.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/1600/saddam_plushy.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3267/2240/320/saddam_plushy.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</b></i><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><br /><table width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="5" bgcolor="#CCCCCC"><tr><td>comments</td></tr></table><br />Hi, I’m from Mark Burnett’s office and he asked that I pass this onto you, so I’m posting it here. Hope you get back to us…<br /><br />Saddam – Wow, do you have any idea how good you are?! You’re amazing: ruthless, but yet surprisingly funny and sensitive. There’s definitely a show here. Your eccentric strong-arm methods would make great television. Here are some quick pitches:<br /><br /><b>Suicide Justice:</b> This one’s simple: you’re looking for your next defense attorney. Will they quit, be thrown out of court, get kidnapped or have their throats slit? A great weekly strip. <br /><br /><b>The Butcher:</b> Each week, 12 wannabe tyrannical dictators battle it out to become the next ruthless despot, while you decide who lives and dies. <em>Who will be the next “Butcher”?</em><br /><br /><b>The Henchman:</b> How long can an average, executive assistant, survive the whims and fury of a diabolical leader of an oil rich Middle East country? <br /><br />These are just concepts. I’m extremely open to suggestions. Let’s get together and talk... no power lunch, just real casual.<br /><br /><b>Posted by: BurnettBoy</b><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22071325.post-1144206807497810502006-04-04T20:12:00.000-07:002006-05-17T17:00:37.086-07:00NEVER<b>Daily Trial Entry:</b><br />I have been assigned a new group of defense attorneys. I am an educated man and respect bright legal minds. But some of these lawyers were assigned to me by the Iraqi puppet court run by the Americans. These are spies at best! I will not work with them, never! <br /><br />Actually two of them aren’t so bad. My defense will be simple. I will yell and scream, then I’ll not show up, and when I show up I will continue to yell and scream.<br /><br /><br /><b><i>STRENGTH IS POWER</b></i><br /><hr size="1" color="#999999"><div class="blogger-post-footer">The Saddam Dump [Saddam Hussein's Trial Blog] is parody ;) and as such is not real. Seriously it's supposed to be funny.
Please do not start rioting, dismembering, beheading, fatwaing, burning, or any other generally distructive behavior over this It's a joke.
All material published here is protected under the copy right laws of the United States of America.
All rights resevered <a hre="http://www.nationallampoon.com>National Lampoon Inc.</a></div>MoDMaNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08033707294528876523noreply@blogger.com4