An excerpt from National Lampoon The Saddam Dump in bookstores NOW! – plus bonus material not found anywhere else.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

MORE ABOUT ME

The "about me" section does not meet my fulfillment. Therefore it is required to have more, “more about me." – Saddam Hussein

Age: 69
Gender: 100% male
Astrological Sign: Taurus (Same birthday as Jay Leno – Ha Ha)
Zodiac Year: Ox
Industry: Socialist Pan-Arab Tyranny
Occupation: President of Iraq (That’s right I’m the president of Iraq – FU MFer!!!)
Location: Undisclosed, Iraq (C’mon, who are we kidding? I’m in the Green Zone)

Saddam is like god. Saddam is the reincarnation of Nebuchadnezzar, ruler and rightful king of the Babylonian empire, defender of Palestine and conqueror of Mesopotamia. Saddam is disco.

– And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Likes:
Cleanliness, nice suits, rape rooms, paintings on velvet, walks on the Euphrates, biological weaponry, afternoon prayers to Allah, dissenters with blood gushing from their lying treasonous throats, SUVs.

Dislikes:
Slovenliness, beggars, painted whores, Paris Hilton, parking tickets, counterfeit antiquities on eBay, 5000 pound laser guided “bunker busters," Jews.

Interests include:
• Provoking the greedy, halfwit, president of America (Saddam cannot even write his name because Saddam is shaking with anger. Saddam wishes he would call. Saddam could make it better)
• Manipulating international economy
• Fucking with the French
• Drinking with Putin
• Taking bribes
• Giving bribes
• Polishing scud missile
• Disputing territorial boundaries
• Pumping oil
• Facial hair

Favorite Movies:
Dirty Harry (what’s it going to be punk? Go ahead make my day. LOL the best comedy ever!!)

Favorite Music:
Albums = Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack, The Best of Gloria Gainer
Singles = Psyco Killer – Talking Heads, Kiddie Grinder – Marilyn Manson, Prison Song – System Of A Down, O Sole Mio – Placido Domingo


STRENGTH IS POWER


comments

Hey Pinhead, you know what? You are a joke! That’s what you are – a joke. And you’re a criminal for committing crimes against humanity. And you hate freedom and justice. After 35 years of running a country with no judiciary save for trials that were prejudged by you, Iraq is totally unprepared to conduct this trial. So I tell you what, why don’t you just do the same thing you did to those thousands of innocent people you slaughtered and sentence yourself to death right now and save us all the trouble. That would be a funny punch line… you joke!

Listen when this thing blows over love to have you on the Factor. The ratings will be huge! Call me.

Posted by: NoSpin_Bill


Please remove my site from your Friend’s Links: http://www.JacquesChirac.com

This is embarrassing.

Posted by: ChiracDaddy

4 Comments:

Blogger RJB said...

Saddam,

Good stuff. You were always my favorite power crazy Middle-Eastern strongman.

Let's get together soon.

Rummy

9:51 PM  
Blogger Th. said...

.

If you can be civil for a change, I might finally invite you over for dinner.

10:00 PM  
Blogger SamuelAlito said...

This is an outrage and you are an imposter.

The REAL Saddam has been keeping a blog for years at this address

8:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Pinhead, you know what? You are a joke! That’s what you are – a joke. And you’re a criminal for committing crimes against humanity. And you hate freedom and justice. After 35 years of running a country with no judiciary save for trials that were prejudged by you, Iraq is totally unprepared to conduct this trial. So I tell you what, why don’t you just do the same thing you did to those thousands of innocent people you slaughtered and sentence yourself to death right now and save us all the trouble. That would be a funny punch line… you joke!

Listen when this thing blows over love to have you on the Factor. The ratings will be huge! Call me.

9:58 PM  

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